My Online Dating Experience
Arriving in the Philippines in 2016 I would begin what I call an instant relationship. What do I mean by that? Well, once I knew I was coming to the Philippines and had a ticket in hand I got onto a dating site which was more out of curiosity then anything. I was instantly blown away by the sheer number of responses and interests I was receiving. I had tried a dating site in the USA just previously that year and was all but invisible so the fact that I was getting an overwhelming amount of interest from pretty young Filipinas was simply mind boggling. Well, I had started chatting with a Filipina single mom from Cebu who was working at a call center and we hit it off right away. After a month or two of chatting online I was on my way to Cebu. We met the very next day with her two chaperones. It was within that first week that we had entered into a relationship.
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Boots on the Ground
Dating in the Philippines can be achieved either one of two ways, either online dating, boots on the ground or even a combination of the two. Some things to consider are whether you are extroverted or introverted. If you are the shy type then online obviously will work best for you and if you are more outgoing then boots on the ground is the best approach. The other consideration is how much time will you be in the Philippines. If you are just coming out for a few weeks or even a month then online dating works best also since you are on a time restraint. If you are coming out to live here then of course boots on the ground is the best of option. A combination of the two can work great for meeting girls also. Whatever way you go about it, expect to blown away by the feminine and caring qualities of a Filipina.
First Dates & Ghosting
Ghosting is a term I became familiar with very quickly in the Philippines and if you talk to most foreigners that live here, they will tell you the same. Ghosting is when someone just disappears either not showing up on a date or just stops chatting you online. I would place the number at around 50%. You may be chatting for weeks on end and all of a sudden, the girl stops chatting with you all together and won’t respond. It also happens sometimes when meeting up for a date where they may keep telling you they are on the way but never show up. Well, there is no real way to know if somebody will ghost you or not but it is something you should be aware of. My guess of why it happens online is that they simply have met somebody else that they like better. In person it could simply be that they get cold feet and don’t feel comfortable with you. My solution to help minimize this is to simply make them as comfortable as possible. If you sense any hesitation in meeting then maybe suggest they bring one chaperone to help make them feel more comfortable. My suggestion for a first date is always a coffee shop. It is a public location and can either be extended into one long date or cut short if the date is going badly.
Approaching a Filipina in Person
I have found that with being a save face culture that the best approach is a nonaggressive friendly approach. Don’t go up to a girl you have never talked to and ask her out in front of coworkers or friends as it can create an embarrassing and uncomfortable situation for her. I find that a simple easy approach is some light conversation and joking which can go a long way. Maybe give a compliment and ask if you can get to know her and get her WhatsApp or FB Messenger. Then message her and over the course of a few days ask to meet for coffee and if she seems hesitant suggest that she bring a friend or family member as a chaperone. However, make sure it is understood that it is to be one chaperone and not ten or you may have a very expensive lunch date.
Slow Down!
The last thing I want to say is to slow down as relationships tend to move very quickly and in a matter of days or sometimes even hours you can find yourself in a relationship. Now this may be ok for some people who have been chatting online for a long time but I still think it is better to follow a 90-day rule and give it some time before labeling the relationship or moving in together. I am guilty of moving fast myself and the charm of a beautiful Filipina can cause your head to spin and to not rationalize things. If you are looking to date, around make sure your date knows that you are not looking for a relationship as of yet and that you might date others. Otherwise, Filipinas will think you are exclusive and only seeing her. Dating has a different meaning here than in the west. After more than five years here in the Philippines I still think that a Filipina is the most feminine, caring and loving girl you can meet and makes for the best relationship.
Thanks Gio, some great advise there.
Thank you
Sage advice, bro. Too many expats want to rush in (where angels fear to tread, as they say). Hope to see you soon. I have a plan, Take good care.
Thank you Buddy