Philippines – The Instant Girlfriend (No Waiting Required)

My very first video that was successful was a video called “Instant Girlfriend No Waiting Required”.  For whatever reason this resonated with people.  It quickly grew my channel and since that video I think it has been copied numerous times by other vloggers.  Regardless, It was probably my worst video I have ever made but either the title or thumbnail made it popular.  Well, in this blog I will dive deeper on what inspired this video and why relationships move so quickly here in The Philippines.

What Inspired My Video?

Two things inspired this video and blog.  One was that right before I filmed the video, I was sitting at Starbucks in Sm Lanang in Davao City with a birds eye view of the first floor and people coming and going.  I saw a Filipina and a foreigner both looking at their phones and chatting with somebody.  They hadn’t seen each other yet and were near so I knew it was a first meeting.  I noticed after a few moments the guy walked up to the Filipina and shook her hand.  They walked off and I continued to sit and enjoy my coffee and people watch.  After about one hour I saw them both again and they were walking around holding hands and I thought to myself “Instant Girlfriend, No Waiting Required”.  I looked back to the time I first came to the Philippines and remembered that I had been writing to a girl I met online for about two months prior.  I only joined the dating site when I knew I was coming for sure and had a ticket in hand.  We never met at the airport but we did meet the next day.  We had met with two of her coworkers at Starbucks and chatted and by the next day we were in a relationship.  Looking back I am not even sure exactly what transpired to put us into a relationship instantly.  This is not the first time myself or others have experienced this.  In Fact I would say it is more common to move into a relationship almost instantly here than not.  

Why Do Relationships Move So Fast in The Philippines?

     I think there are a few reasons relationships move so fast with foreign guys and Filipinas.  One is it is quite a jump up the social ladder.  Most Filipinas will go from living a very modest and sometimes hard life to a life of luxury for Philippines standards anyway.  They are often motivated by improving their lives for themselves and family.  A second reason is most foreigners have usually gone through a long relationship and breakup/divorce.  They come out to the Philippines and now are dating a dark haired, tanned beauty who is half their age so us foreigners tend to throw caution to the wind and jump quickly into relationships also.  The last reason is simply time, many foreigners who come here are here a few weeks or a few months maximum before they have to return to their country.  When they arrive they are instantly with the girl they have been chatting with 24/7 and the relationship tends to get pushed forward quickly.  

Do Relationships Tend to Move Fast Between Filipinos?

From my experience and observations after six years in the Philippines I would say no.  It seems to be a slow dating process here and moving in together is rare for several reasons.  One Filipinos tend to live at home well after finishing school and often until marriage.  The other reason is many Filipinos may move away for work and be in an all girl or all boy boarding house with single beds and shared by other roommates.  Many are not allowed to have visitors or overnight visitors of the opposite sex.  There is not a reason to rush the relationship or move in together because typically it is a lateral move and not a move up the social ladder.  Their lifestyle usually does not change much and in many cases may get harder once kids are added into the mix.  

Is Moving Quickly Really Necessary?

I don’t want to tell anyone to not move fast in a relationship if it feels right, since I am guilty of moving fast myself.  I think relationships here compared to the West have a totally different dynamic so you can’t really compare the two.  Some guys who are out here for a short trip don’t have the luxury of dating around and taking their time to make sure she is the right girl or to test the waters as they say.  So I understand how things can progress quickly out of necessity for both parties.   However, if you are living here then really you should treat it like you would any normal relationship and slow things down to really get to know each other.  

Final Thoughts on Instant Relationships!

     If at all possible it is best and probably overall healthier to slow things down and not move into an instant relationship because it can be a real gamble otherwise.  But then again I know so many success stories of guys who moved into an instant relationship with a Filipina as soon as they stepped off the plane, so who really knows.  Go with whatever feels right for you both!